The Mark of the Jandal

Monday, December 26, 2005


Yesterday morning I had the firmest stool since coming to Samoa. I would say that I was probably constipated or at least very close to it. I didn't go the day before and it hurt coming out. I was celebrating my body's adaption to the local cuisine.

Last night was one of the weekly bingo nights. I left with Lee and To'afa around 8PM and arrived about 35 minutes later, after stopping at Lee's sister's house. At around 9.30 my stomach started churning. Being familiar with this feeling, I took an Immodium at around 9.45. I new bingo would probably run until 10.45 or 11. Lee and To'afa were having a good time, so I decided to tough it out.

Bingo ended around 10.50, and I needed to urinate as well. To'afa said it would be a couple minutes more. It turns out that the women's committee meeting follows the bingo game. The last time I only came with Lee, so I didn't stay for it that time. I told Lee that I needed to void my bladder, and he gestured to the yard beside a step like pyramid grave. After confirming that I understood him correctly, I went to the side of the grave facing away from the other people and emptied my bladder. It was temporary relief.

At 11.30 the pressure building up in my bowels was becoming too much. I told Lee that I really needed to go. He and To'afa came with me. The pressure in my stomach was very painful. It came in waves every 45 seconds and I had about 25 minutes before we would reach the fale. After about 5 minutes, I noticed that To'afa wasn't with us. I turned back and Lee said that she also had to urinate. I noticed her squatting beside the road about 20 feet back. At this point I realized that it was socially acceptable to goto the bathroom on the side of the road. To'afa caught up to us about half a minutes later. I waved her and Lee on and told them I would catch up with them.

I found a somewhat dry area on the side of the road --- not necessarily an easy feat given the rain we have been having lately. Satisfied with my spot, I dropped my shorts to my ankles. I then pulled them forward and projected my ass out. I gave a good squeeze, and I could feel piece clear my anus. This small plug was a remnant from the morning. It was followed by a much more fluid matter which flowed quite freely. The relief I felt is difficult to describe, but I think most people have felt it. Since I had no toilet paper and no time to find a substitute, I positioned my ass to minimize spatter and skin exposure. When finished --- perhaps 20 seconds for the act and 5 to relax and enjoy myself --- I pulled up my shorts and caught up to Lee and To'afa.

When I got home, I visited the bathroom and finished the business I started at the side of the road. I don't think I've been happier or will be to see the bathroom at my fale. I went to the shower, cleaned myself off, and went to bed.


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